That’s Not News

Congress hasn’t passed a budget. The government has shut down. …..Say it isn’t so…

Although this is a huge deal for Americans {and well, subsequently, a lot of other countries}, it’s not news. Please, how many times has our country had problems passing a budget? In my lifetime, an infinite amount.

So while Huffington Post and NY Times splay this story across their online front pages, I’m here to give the Senate and House a break from the paparazzi, and supply information about what else{*else referring to really really important shizz} is going on around the world for those still hungry for news. 

Mumbai Falling

This year we’ve heard multiple reports of collapsing buildings in the city of Mumbai, India. And this morning, again, another fatal incident occurred. A residential building crumbled to the ground, trapping and killing inhabitants. As the crash happened in the early hours, it was expected that almost all of the building’s residents were inside at the time. The collapse displays another example of Mumbai’s low, almost nonexistent, building standards and hints at the corruption inside the city’s government departments. Keep the residents, family, friends, and the forces sent to rescue inhabitants, in your thoughts and prayers.

New Assessment Results Embarrass Stupid People

In a Canadian HuffPo article titled “DUH!” {please…..I couldn’t make that up}, new test results from an IPCC result confirmed with “extreme confidence” that humans are the lil stinkers at fault for global warming. Before, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change was kind of dilly-dallying all over the place, being like ohhhh, maybe it’s our fault, with these Hummers and giant factories and all, but then again maybe not…..

Well, no more! The IPCC has reached a level of confirmation usually only seen before in Danny’s gradual report on cupcakes {for lack of a better metaphor of what it means to be “extreme”}.

But, seriously people…..start recycling.

Increased Aggression in Kenya

First there was the deadly Westgate mall siege in Nairobi: an attack still under investigation by both Kenyan and international authorities. Now, more deadly attacks are following. Kenyan officials reported that militants are responsible for murders along the border. With the country’s flags already being flown at half-staff, the continuing aggression only adds more grief to the already traumatized country.

Speaking of Kenya and Crazies…..

…let’s talk about the “White Widow.” An arrest warrant has been issued for Samantha Lewthwaite for having explosive devices and for attempting a felony a couple of years ago. Her nickname was bestowed after the death of her husband, suicide bomber Germaine Lindsay, responsible for the London Underground explosions. The story about this “White Widow,” a suspected terrorist on the run with kids in tow, is intriguing, freakyyy, and way more interesting than that Stephen King novel you’re reading, so I suggest reading her full story here.

That’s Enough….with so many traumatic news stories circulating, it’s sometimes hard to remember not everyone in the world is off their rocker. However, Zach Galifianakis reminds us that people are inherently good, as he takes many liberties to interview the semi-human Justin Bieber. Thanks Zach, for providing us with this gem. As to the Biebs himself, thanks for proving you might not be as much of a punk as I thought.

There’s so much more news out there! These are just some of the less-publicized stories that don’t make it to the front page when the famous Ms. Senate and Mr. House are quarreling. All news is important, so keep up that coffee & newspaper ritual 🙂 Besos & Happy Friday everyone!

schmidt-weekend

 

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