Men, Toilets, & other things Argentina does better than the rest of the world

Men

This needs no explanation: the men here are gorgeous. An indulgent mix of latin and italian, they’re like little pastries that have been baked to perfection with all the right features added.

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Toilets

Often times after dining in a restaurant, my bladder needs to empty itself in a restroom. In most of South America, public restrooms are basically toilets blocked from view by a square of wooden curtains. Use one in a restaurant, and the entire clientele will be informed whether your lunch agreed with you or not. While in Peru, I would squeeze my thighs tightly together and scurry home, willing to risk a public incident rather than use a public bathroom.

However in Argentina, walking into a restaurant’s restroom is the equivalent of walking into a life-size bank safe with a toilet smacked in the center. As the heavy door clinks closed, the entire stall echoes, reverberating the sound waves off it’s thick, iron-like walls. You feel safe to do your business –knowing whatever happens, no one else will ever know what has passed between you and that toilet.

{Author’s note: Apparently, this only applies to women’s restrooms. Here’s what Chrisman, a fellow gringo in Buenos Aires, had to say about men’s restrooms after reading this post:  “men’s bathrooms in B.A. are nowhere near as luxurious as you describe the women’s. Most of the time, the stalls falling apart. And if it does stay together, there’s no lock and the door is so close to the front of the toilet that, if you have knees, there’s no way you can sit down. fun facts”…..ooo, sorry hombres}

Breakfast

Breakfast boasts the magical ingredients that will lead you to that bathroom. Composed of café con leche, jugo de naranja, y medialunas, a “completo” here holds all the components your body craves before getting on with the day. The coffee is creamy,  the orange juice always fresh squeezed, and the medialunas so warm right out of  the oven, you’ll think your waiter is the Muffin Man himself.

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{Both Chrisman and Jamila’s shoulder would’ve been better off if somebodyyy had eaten an authentic Argentinean breakfast!}

Leggings

To begin, the women here have all been blessed with the best legs there are on this world. I know we all think Gisele is from Brazil, but I wouldn’t swear on it just yet……because the only time I’ve seen legs like that in real life has been in Argentina. Either she’s porteña….or an alien {which, I think, is completely possible}.

That being said, these women can pull off the leggings-as-pants look. And they do. Successfully. Much more than Americans can say for themselves, as most legging-clad females in the states were either just too lazy to put on jeans that morning, or no longer fit into their jeans. The best part about leggings here is that they come in all different colors and patterns. Zebra-print, hot pink, tye-dye, dip-dyed –they seriously have it all. Being blessed with some good gams myself, I’ve already indulged in two new purchases: a pair of leopard-print leggings and black, skin-tight leather ones. And no matter how ridiculous-looking the leggings look on the hanger, when these women put them on and pair them down with subtle sweaters and tees, they strut around looking runway-worthy.

Children

As I mentioned before in my last post from Peru, I am a firm believer that children are the absolute worst. Hence why I never was one, and why I will never have them. However, if I had to choose a type of child to be stuck on a ten-minute metro ride with, I would waste no time in sticking myself with an Argentinian child. They are beautiful, endearing, and just down-right cute. They don’t run around the grocery store screaming, don’t cry whenever they’re accidentally pushed {my bad} and, as far as I can tell, don’t poop…because I have yet to smell dirty diapers while sitting next to newborns on the bus.

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Magazines

Magazines fall into the category of my favorite things. I love the feeling of buying a new magazine and flipping through its crisp, new pages to read whatever that month’s edition holds. A while ago, I bought my first edition of OHLALÁ! here in Argentina, and immediately, I was hooked. Ever since, I’ve continued to invest in each new copy. After perusing the newstands down here on a regular basis, I have reached a conclusion: Argentinian magazines cover the same topics as those publications littering the newstands in North America, however each copy is much more original than the mundane, repetitive ones of the U.S. Don’t get me wrong, I love to browse through a copy of Cosmo as an occasional “guilty pleasure,” or study the pages of Oprah to learn a, once again, new way to “improve your life through these simple steps,” but the truth is, all of the writing is just different versions of the same article printed time and time again. With OHLALÁ, it’s refreshing to read about love, life, and health through new perspectives with each magazine purchase.

I could continue with this list, but night is upon me and I am off to dinner to celebrate my lovely roommates’ birthday. Have a wonderful weekend & muchos besos xox

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{Happy birthday, Lucila!}

2 thoughts on “Men, Toilets, & other things Argentina does better than the rest of the world

  1. Hugiin says:

    It’s great to see you’re really enthusiastic about some of the things we hate. Men’s restroom do suck as this guy has correctly noticed. But Ohlalá Magazine… I really can’t believe you don’t find that magazine boring or even offesive. Ohlalá is part of La Nación, a right-wing conservative mega media group that exhales a stale – though persistent- dictadura stench. Not that I have to bash someone else’s ideas but I do have to point out that this magazine – somewhere between Cosmopolitan and Fox News – does not represent what all argentinans think about women.

    Still really liking your blog, as you can see.

    • The Wanderita says:

      Hey Hugin, interesting insight about revista Ohlalá. I’ll admit I knew little to nothing about its state of origin before reading your comment and now you’ve got me researching.

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