I am your ride-or-die, female-empowerment, yogi-spirited powerhouse.
I take my coffee black and eat misogynists for breakfast.
I’ve climbed mountains, crossed lakes, and cycled up heaven’s stairway.
My point in all of this is: I’m strong and I’m on purpose.
So that’s why recent feedback from my coworker shook me.
In one beautiful (and necessary) punch to the gut, she told me to stop apologizing.
“Stop apologizing for setbacks or issues, especially those that are out of your control,” she wrote.
I’d apologized for turning the corner right as she did. I’d apologized for not understanding her email. I’d apologized for misinterpreting her comment.
The air between us hung think with I’m sorry’s.
In general I keep my apologies to myself.
But put me in a room where I’m the youngest/only female/[insert intimidating factor here], and the apologies fly like cash on payday.
It has been debated whether encouraging women to stop apologizing is actually shameful in and of itself. I’m not buying that counterargument.
Saying sorry constructs the belief that the apologizing woman is inferior or has failed. With every apology, a woman carves deep the belief that she is lesser-than.
Let’s stop doubting our badass selves.
And if you do use the *S* word, it’s okay.
In next week’s hallway collision, just try your best to avoid self-blame.